Monday, March 21, 2011
I'm not ready!!!
I was driving in the California desert on Saturday between Blythe and Vidal Junction (for those of you who know the drive, you know how bleak this is) when I had a really intense moment. I had gotten a really witty text from Michael Conrad Hunter. I was just laughing to myself and thinking about how downright excited I was to be back in Cedar after a week in El Centro. I was thinking about the AMAZING people that would be there waiting for me, and then I had the thought: "It's all gone in six weeks." I graduate six week from last Saturday and I will never live with all these people again. I've said goodbye to a lot of people as they graduated, transferred, and left on missions; but I was always still here and there were always people to keep me going. I was always a student, and I knew what was coming next. It was at this point I started hysterically crying in the car by myself. I have no plans, and as much as I would love to move to some random city in this great country and have a new adventure, I've had it so great here that I don't know if I have the courage to do that. I'm not ready!!!
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oh sweetcakes. a year and a half out of college and i still never think i'm ready. i left cedar like 3 yrs ago and still get all sappy about it every now and again. BUT i realize that i often look back at the most previous stage of my life and think how great it is, but then i never appreciate what phase i'm in until it's over. i won't lie to you -- you'll miss college. but there's a lot to love about being a grown-up too. there's still amazing people to meet and adventures to have. and don't worry -- i had no plans when i graduated either and i turned out ok...i think :) (and if/when the angst and nostalgia hit you, you can call me and commiserate. because i understand.)
ReplyDeleteLet's just talk about how this is really the most tender maternal statement ever. Love, Rainbow Fuzzy Pants
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