My life post Cedar has been full of mundane goals just for the sake of having something to check off: do dishes, write so-and-so a letter, apply for X amount of jobs today, etc. It's all I can do to keep myself from going crazy in this transitional phase of my life. My to do lists use to look like this:call so-and-so agent, schedule venue, finish paper, meeting, class, next meeting, and that was just before noon. At the end of the day I was exhausted but I felt like I'd made a difference.
I haven't felt like that in a long time--until today. Today I went and helped out with my high school's Mock Trial team. I was in Mock Trial all four years of high school and absolutely loved it. I worked with the kids on smoothing out their speeches; diction, pacing, parallel structure, and keeping a unified voice through out their arguments. I could really tell they were not only understanding it but also understanding why these skills made them stronger public speakers. No matter what they choose to do with the rest of their lives, these are valuable skills.
Tonight as I'm crawling into bed I feel like I made a difference and I forgot how rewarding it is. I realize I'm making a difference down here, and I know my family appreciates how much I help out, but I don't think I put as much importance on it as I should. So my new goal? Before I go to bed every night, really take the time to ponder the differences I've made that day. I think that not only will I feel more fulfilled but that I'll challenge myself to do more. I just love goals.
P.S. I realize in my earlier post I sounded like I would be blogging all my tender mercies, which was my original plan. They're becoming a lot more personal than I expected, so from time to time I'll put some up here, but for now they're going in the journal.
